Glitch in the Romance

It’s two in the morning and I’m coming home after what I can only self describe as a comedy bomb… surprisingly sober.

After washing my face, immediately hanging my bra on the bathroom door to air it out (like jeans, you can’t wash them too often), Jake wakes up to tell me it’s ok to watch t.v. while he sleeps. I tell him I’m hungry and want to eat a sandwich, he says that’s ok too. As if the sound of my dipping my peanut butter sandwich in milk and eating a half bag of Lay’s potato chips won’t even phase him.

I tell him I don’t want to bother him, and he mumbles something about loving me.

It’s after 2 a.m. on a Sunday night, and while half asleep this human being still has the wherewithal to tell me he loves me?

How does a love like this exist? It’s not something portrayed in movies… the day to day. Hollywood pretends to, in cliche and cute ways… but the day in and out, the real sense of what love and a relationship is - can’t translate to screen.

Love isn’t romantic. It’s the opposite. It’s telling your partner their feet smell after a long day… and it’s leaving them a .99 cent card for no reason that reminds them how much you love them, because maybe you haven’t felt connected for awhile.

I sometimes miss the concept of single life, the implied freedom and independence… and then I realize, that’s exactly what I still have. Except I get to come home, snore like an alcoholic uncle covered in chip crumbs and wake up beside someone that loves me.

XOXO The Bride

10 Things I love about hating you

Do you ever find yourself making concessions for your friends that you might not for your partner?

Example: I went on a hike (which I hate doing) with some friend’s for one of their birthdays, but I’d never do that with Jake.

Does that mean I love him less? Hardly, it just means I value our time spent together on another level.

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to share every single thing in common… if you do, that’s probably unhealthy.

Of course, you need a certain level of commonality to even form a meaningful relationship… but how much do you really need?

We both enjoy happy hour, watching t.v. at home in sweatpants, doing standup, and we can probably agree - potato chips are a food group. I can honestly say, I feel it’s a pretty solid relationship. Do I love watching sci fi or going to the theater with him to watch Disney movies? No. Does he like day drinking and debating criminal procedure and current world politics? Doubtful.

When you decide to share your life, or even part of your time on earth with someone, it isn’t about being the same person. It’s about loving and respecting your differences and watching that person light up when they talk about something they’re passionate about.

Jake could be talking about something I find entirely uninteresting and yet, when I see how excited he is… I get excited. Wait, what about a Tardis? You love the Seahawks because of … enter generic sports lingo (if you aren’t #TeamTebow, fuck off), or how you know exactly how to salt meat (#saltbae)

Sometimes we do things we wouldn’t do for our significant others… and that’s ok.

Every relationship is individualized and specific to the person.

XOXO The Bride

#SingleBecause

Often misunderstood as a cry for pity or (pity) dates, it's actually the farthest thing from it. It embraces humor, independence, and general well-being as an individual. It's a lifestyle choice.

#Singlebecause pokes fun at the eccentricities of yourself that others might find odd or just downright disgusting (Trash pizza). It's about being honest with yourself, and others about who you are. I'm not saying that if you're a shitty person, you should continue to be. I'm saying that you are your own, slightly original person that deserves to be treated with respect.

One of the most repeated statements I hear from single people is, "I need someone to do [fill in the blank] with," Now in some cases, there are activities where another person is required. I immediately think of tug of war. I mean, unless you have a dog...

Focus.

#Singlebecause is about doing all those things people feel they need someone to do them with, by yourself. See a movie, or go out to dinner, or go bird watching. These are amazingly great activities with or without someone. The concept that you need another person to enjoy life, though... think of everything you're missing!

Example: Many of my friends don't love my favorite restaurant, but I'm not going to let that stop me from going. I'm going to get dressed up and go eat some food, because I'm an adult. [Confession: When I first started going out alone I was worried what people would think, so I got dressed up. I'd even make up a story of why I was alone, in case anyone asked (no one ever did). Now, I've worked my way up to watching romantic movies alone in the theater and blowing my nose into my sweatshirt!]

Ok - now what can you take from this? Well if you got this far, know that you're probably a pretty decent person, or at least have a good sense of humor (and are literate). You're a person that other people are going to like, and if they don't? They're missing out.

Suggested Reads:

Aziz Anzari's Modern Romance

Philip Zimbardo's Shyness and The Time Paradox